We will be chatting live today at noon with pediatrician Kathleen Berchelmann, with St. Louis Children’s Hospital.
She’s a home-schooling mom of four young children, with the fifth on the way. We will discuss storm safety tips to talk about with children, and any other concerns or dilemmas.
Submit your questions here.
Mice fathers take a cue from their own dads when it comes to parenting.
CREDIT: Emilia Stasiak | Shutterstock
When it comes to parenting, mice follow their fathers’ examples. Male mice with neglectful dads grow up to be less nurturing to their own babies, new research finds.
In the study, researchers found that the sons with less affectionate fathers gave their own offspring the same treatment, suggesting paternal behavior can be passed from fathers to sons across multiple generations.
In the mammal world, mothers are generally the sole providers — paternal care is seen in only 5 percent of mammal species. Mothers are known to have a profound impact on their offspring, but less is known about paternal care. [The Animal Kingdom's Most Devoted Dads]
“There are very few animal model systems which we can use to study paternal behavior,” said study co-author Catherine Marler, a behavioral neuroendocrinologist at the University of Wisconsin–Madison.
The epigenetic” alterations — probably contribute.
The nurturing behavior of father mice could provide a model for humans, Marler said. Whereas scientists obviously can’t do that same kind of study with people, “there are correlations in humans between parental behavior and the behavior of offspring,” she said.
Previous studies in rats and vervet monkeys have shown that the amount of maternal care influences stress levels in the offspring. Marler said she hopes to investigate similar effects of paternal care on stress.
The study was published today (May 21) in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B.
Follow Tanya Lewis on Twitter and Google+. Follow us @livescience, Facebook Google+. Original article on LiveScience.com.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013 4:22 PM UTC
Topics:
LGBT Rights,
gay families,
Gay Rights,
gay parents,
gay parenting,
lgbt parents,
Utah,
New York,
San Francisco, Life News, News
Researchers from the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law have estimated that, contrary to public perception about New York City and San Francisco as meccas for gay families, it’s actually Salt Lake City and its surrounding suburbs that have the highest rate of gay and lesbians raising children.
After analyzing census data, researchers found that 1 in 4 gay couples in Salt Lake City are parents.
The data isn’t all that surprising if you put it into context, as researcher Gary J. Gates told Emily Alpert at the Los Angeles Times:
For instance, “a big chunk of them are people who had children young, with opposite-sex partners, before they came out,” Gates said. After coming out, they raised those children with a partner of the same sex, he explained.
That may be one reason that in some more conservative places not known for celebrating gays and lesbians, a striking percentage of same-sex couples are rearing children, Gates said. Among states, Mississippi has the highest percentage of gay or lesbian couples raising children — 26% — his analysis of census data found.
Though Salt Lake City has a high percentage of gay couples raising children, the actual number is still much smaller than in coastal hubs such as New York or Los Angeles, the data show. Besides the Utah capital, other large urban areas where gay couples are more likely to have children include Virginia Beach, Va.; Detroit; and Memphis, Tenn. — all places where more than a fifth of couples of the same sex are bringing up kids.
As it turns out, gay parents choose to raise kids in places like Salt Lake City for the same reasons that straight parents do (go figure!): proximity to relatives, community ties and cost of living.
“When you ask, ‘Why are you living here?’ they almost always say family,” Abbie Goldberg, an associate professor of psychology at Clark University told the Times. “It shouldn’t really be surprising. They value family — and now they’re creating families of their own.”
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Kaylee, wearing her outfit as punishment (Photo by Fox13/KSTU-TV)School bullying is a national crisis, but one woman thinks she found the solution—give the bully a taste of her own medicine.
More on Yahoo! Shine: Public Shaming is the New Spanking and It’s Not OK
On Wednesday, a Murry, Utah-based woman named Ally Olsen, 41, discovered that her fiancé’s 10-year-old daughter, Kaylee, was bullying a classmate. Kaylee’s teacher had emailed Olsen, explaining that the girl had been teasing a student for the past three weeks because of how she dressed. As a result, the victim no longer wanted to come to school.
More on Yahoo! 6-Year-old Punished Because Her Parents Made Her Late
“When I received the email, I was confused because just a few weeks ago, Kaylee had received an award from her principal for stopping a bullying incident at school,” Olsen told Yahoo! Shine. “I confronted Kaylee who explained that she had called another girl ‘sleazy’ for wearing Daisy Duke shorts and a tank top. We’ve taught Kaylee to dress conservatively but never expected her to be judgmental.”
Olsen said Kaylee was not apologetic so in lieu of grounding her which she felt “wouldn’t resonate” she turned to Facebook, asking friends for advice on how to handle the situation. By the next day, Olsen had a plan of action. She took her family, who regularly frequented thrift shops, to a local store, pretending it was a routine shopping trip. As Kaylee deemed various articles of clothing “ugly” and “embarrassing,” Olsen had her try them on as a joke, eventually telling the fourth-grader that she was purchasing the clothes for her as punishment. “I wanted Kaylee to truly experience the embarrassing feelings she had evoked in someone else by wearing clothes she felt self-conscious in,” says Olsen. “The goal wasn’t to select clothes that were cheap; it was to buy things that Kaylee herself said she hated.” Also, Olsen told Kaylee that she wasn’t going to force her to apologize to her classmate; her remorse had to be genuine.
Although Kaylee cried, the next day she headed to school wearing one of the outfits under a coat that she had zipped up to her neck. “When she came home that afternoon, Kaylee said the kids laughed at her for wearing ‘pajamas.’ She also felt so guilty that she pulled her classmate aside and apologized for her behavior the previous day.” To solidify the punishment, Olsen snapped a photo of Kaylee wearing the outfit (her face was blurred to protect her identity) and posted it on Facebook.
By then, Olsen decided that Kaylee had suffered enough—until she learned that she had gotten into another altercation with a second girl. “When Kaylee explained how she had spoken rudely to a friend who was picking on her clothes, I decided that she needed to wear another embarrassing outfit the following day,” said Olsen. Kaylee was also made to attend her father’s soccer game wearing the clothing and posed for another photo in the outfit (her face was blurred again), which Olsen posted on Facebook. “We wanted adults to see the example we set.”
Kaylee, her face blurred to protect her identity, wearing her outfit as punishment (Photo by Fox13/KSTU-TV)Surprisingly, Kaylee handled her punishment gracefully. “What people don’t understand is that Kaylee genuinely learned from this experience. She actually thanked me for making her go through that,” said Olsen. “I’m keeping the clothes in case she is mean to other kids again. Hopefully one day, we’ll be able to laugh about it.”
Shaming misbehaved children is hardly news and there’s no shortage of parents who turn to social media to post embarrassing photos of their kids or have them stand in the street holding handwritten signs apologizing for bad behavior. But where’s the line between a parent airing their family dirty laundry and being inappropriate?
“On the one hand, it sounds like this mother’s heart was in the right place,” says Kirsten Filizetti, Ph.D. a San Diego-based psychologist. “She was trying to help this girl understand what she had done and teach her a life lesson.
“However, parents should be careful about introducing shame and guilt onto kids as a form of punishment,” she says. According to Filizetti, a better plan of action may have been to sit down with the child and understand the motivations behind the bullying, then use that knowledge to expose him or her to children who are different from them. To further the learning lesson, it may also be wise to have the kid sit down with the peer they hurt and listen to how the behavior was hurtful. “It’s less important that the bully explain where they were coming from and more important that the victim feels heard,” she says.
More on Shine!
Teen Labeled ‘Freak’ in Yearbook Amounts to Bullying, Says Mom
Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?
Spanking Makes Aggressive, Depressed Kids?
22 May 2013
When on the quest of happiness we’re constantly told that having Money and a successful career to fund buying material possessions are what will make us happy.
But living in the lap of luxury may not be the key to happiness as new research has shown what makes us the happiest is spending time with our family.
A family day out was rated one of life’s biggest luxuries, followed by dining out with the family, and spending quality time together.
All of these things easily beat the ‘traditional’ luxuries of having a nice car, plenty of Money, designer clothes, and luxury holidays.
Nigel Chapman, founder of Luxury Family Hotels who conducted the research, said, “It is very telling that quality time as a family was seen as the most important priority for a large majority parents over and above material possessions, money and careers.
“Society is increasingly materialistic and the message from modern celebrities seems to be that fashion, exotic foreign holidays and bling are the important things.
“But this research proves that British most parents still believe there is more to life than simply working and spending their hard-earned wages on material possessions like cars and designer clothes.”
Despite spending quality time with the family topping the list, it seems that there is a way to go before we can put aside work guilt-free to do so.
Two thirds of Brits said that in order to fund the expense of spending time with their family, they have to work hard to achieve their financial goals.
Would you say spending time with your family is the biggest luxury? Let us know by commenting below or tweeting us @FemaleFirst_UK
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By
Irving Oala
23:56 EST, 21 May 2013
|
23:56 EST, 21 May 2013
Will Smith is in full-time interview mode.
The 44-year-old actor has just finished a two week international press tour promoting his new sci-fi action film After Earth and is now making his rounds in the United States, going from prime time late night talk show to magazine interview without missing a beat.
Will Smith gets introspective: The actor talks about working with his son, his parenting style and his legacy in a recent interview with Haute Living
‘My dream was that I want to be the biggest movie star in the world and I set out to just make big movies,’ Smith tells the luxury magazine about having to recently reevaluate his life.
‘Three years ago, I had Hancock and I Am Legend in a six-month period and I felt complete. And then I was like ‘Uhoh,’ and had to really go back to the drawing board of my dreams. I even realized that material world dreams are dangerous.’
The actor goes on to describe he and wife Jada Pinkett-Smith’s parenting style as well.
Smith in silhouette: The actor says he is just beginning his legacy, despite unprecedented success already
‘I grew up in a family business so my
father, my mother and all my brothers and sisters worked in the family
business, so that’s really the only way I know how to parent,’ the I,
Robot star explains.
‘I
think that, specifically in African American households, the idea coming
out of slavery, there’s a concept of your children being property and
that was a major part that Jada and I released with our kids. We respect
our children the way we would respect any other person.’
As
his newest film tells the story a father and son stranded on a wild
planet earth one thousand years in the future, Smith also delves into
the universal feeling of being a worried father.
Promotional tour: Will and Jaden were seen leaving their New York City hotel on Tuesday
‘The concept of life and death is what comes into play as a father,’ the Pursuit of Happyness star says.
‘Whether
you are watching basketball or washing the dishes, in the mind of a
warrior father, everything is life or death. The way you wash those
dishes, the way you clean your room, the way you handle your schoolwork,
one day its going to come back in a life or death scenario.’
Despite
being the only actor to have eight straight films gross over one
hundred million at the domestic box office and open at number one, as
well as winning four Grammy Awards for his music, Smith thinks that he
is only beginning to create his legacy right now.
Taken aback: The pair were surprised by the immense crowd as they left for the airport
Friendly star: Will happily posed for pictures with fans
‘I want my legacy to be inspiration, that I inspired people to become everything that they dreamed and even the things that they never dreamed,’ the Fresh Prince star says.
‘That’s what I am doing with Jaden now, helping him develop and learn and grow. I want that to be my legacy.’
As for the emancipation rumors that have dogged just about every interview he has done on this press tour since Tokyo, Smith repeats what he and his son have been saying the whole time.
‘Yeah, that was a joke! I made a joke. He is definitely not going anywhere; he is so scared of being out on his own,’ he says. ‘Willow is probably going to be emancipated before Jaden!’
After Earth hits theaters worldwide on May 31.
That’s a clever idea! Jaden swapped his usual skateboard for a suitcase with a built in scooter
Father and son: Will and Jaden are starring in their second film together
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The comments below have been moderated in advance.
You know, just the other day I was standing in the tea and coffee aisle in Waitrose looking at a 30g box of Duchy Originals Organic Lemon Ginger Infusion Tea when it struck me… if I don’t make a choice between this and a 40g box of Dragonfly Skinny Dragon Pu’er Tea, one day its going to come back in a life or death scenario.
Of course, I then realised I shop in Waitrose and can afford both. But there was definitely a moment there.
I’ve no idea how these extraordinarily rich people surrounded by bodyguards (whose idea of danger is likely forgetting their pocket sized bottle of anti-bacterial hand cleanser when meeting the public) manage to carry on with their lives. Could you imagine facing these life or death scenarios on a regular basis? Those magnificent actors. They demand our respect! Not just our cash for churning out consistent (ly mediocre) entertainment.
Dave Be
,
Cornwall, United Kingdom,
22/5/2013 11:03
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Warrior father? He’s just an actor for goodness sake.
Jim
,
Omaha,
22/5/2013 11:02
Report abuse
he CLEARLY doesnt see the news, his children have never been parented, a few weeks ago he was banging on about being their friend and they had no boundaries or punishments, this attempt at being philosophical is due to the backlash about how wild his children are and are no doubt likely to be in the very near future. Red arrow away, one ridiculous sentence does NOT make him a good parent.
just me
,
scotland,
22/5/2013 11:00
Report abuse
one of those rare Hollywood stars that has kept a wonderful human side. He is indeed an inspirational example for everyone to follow. I suggest searching on youtube his interviews with Charlie Rose on Bloomberg. Lots of wisdom on a (then) very young man. Lots to learn from this man.
Richard
,
Chelmsford,
22/5/2013 10:56
Report abuse
one of those rare Hollywood stars that has kept a wonderful human side. He is indeed an inspirational example for everyone to follow. I suggest searching on youtube his interviews with Charlie Rose on Bloomberg. Lots of wisdom on a (then) very young man. Lots to learn from this man.
Richard
,
Chelmsford,
22/5/2013 10:56
Report abuse
What the hell is he on about??
AM4
,
LEEDS, United Kingdom,
22/5/2013 10:50
Report abuse
I’ve always liked Will Smith, can’t stand his children, let them be kids and have a childhood. They are old before their time, if they have talent it will come out later.
After reading this article and he says ‘
‘Whether you are watching basketball or washing the dishes, in the mind of a warrior father, everything is life or death. The way you wash those dishes, the way you clean your room, the way you handle your schoolwork, one day its going to come back in a life or death scenario.’ What the hell is he on, sounds like a line from one of his movies!!
Get over yourself!
mytwocents
,
lagos, Portugal,
22/5/2013 10:48
Report abuse
I thought he was a rich, pampered Hollywood movie star, seems I was wrong and he’s a warrior parent.
NZBB
,
Auckland, New Zealand,
22/5/2013 10:47
Report abuse
Jaden is an awful actor, possesses none of his fathers talent!
theinconvenienttruth
,
bishops stortford, United Kingdom,
22/5/2013 10:38
Report abuse
I adore willy boy..great role model, great father and brillant actor!! Team Willy!!
sanj Sandhu
,
Coventry, United Kingdom,
22/5/2013 10:38
Report abuse
The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
Barb Forshey, Judy Edwards and Gloria Thomas with Garden Lover’s Club are presented Helping Hands award by Susan Lee, CCPN director, and Coy Hudson, CCPN board president.
Posted: Tuesday, May 21, 2013 7:00 am
CONOVER, N.C. — The Catawba County Parenting Network (CCPN) recently recognized the Garden Lover’s Club of Newton and Conover with a Helping Hands Service award.
The recognition is given by the Parenting Network to an organization or business that demonstrates outstanding leadership and commitment to helping the Parenting Network reach families with information and resources for their parenting journey.
“This group has given many hours of service to the Parenting Network. We are so very grateful for the beautiful landscaping they have provided over the years and the wonderful decorating they do each year during the holidays. They help us make a welcoming impression on families who come to our facility, and we very much appreciate their work and are honored they are willing to give their time to help our organization,” said Susan Lee, CCPN director.
Currently in its 13th year, the CCPN is a 501c3 nonprofit organization dedicated to assisting and equipping parents and primary caregivers with the knowledge and skills they need to strengthen their families. Parenting programs are available for parents, grandparents, and other primary caregivers of children ages 18 and younger. The Parenting Network is primarily funded by the Catawba County Partnership for Children (Smart Start).
Posted in
News
on
Tuesday, May 21, 2013 7:00 am.
I met a remarkable group of teachers last week. They spoke about their secondary school, which serves one of the most disadvantaged suburbs of Dublin. They feel privileged to be part of the lives of their students and they give their bone marrow every day to their work.
One man described how stepping into this classroom in the morning was like stepping on to the fast lane of a Formula One race track, with the traffic coming towards him. The sheer speed of the day was exhilarating, but draining.
Besides covering the prescribed coursework, demands of every kind come at him constantly: the boy who was having difficulties and needed extra encouragement to stay on top of things; the withdrawn girl who had brought with her into school the hurt and the aggression she had witnessed at home that morning; the stolen mobile; the fear in someone’s eyes who was being bullied, and the angry parent of the bully waiting downstairs; the football team who faced devastation in a week’s time from their neighbours unless they pull their socks up.
Second shift
When their day is done, these teachers leave for home to start a second shift. Their children and families are waiting with their own needs and demands. Another round of homework, tending to life’s bruises, equipping their children to face life, paying bills, caring for a sick relative and everything else.
In the scarce few minutes that they might try to grab for themselves on the drive home, they might turn on the radio to hear yet another round of teacher bashing. With their end-of-term energies at their lowest, these assaults reach fever pitch as teachers everywhere are attacked for having steady jobs and long summer holidays.
Standing there in the school library, with Colin Farrell looking right at me from the poster on the wall, I was moved by their passion and their commitment. I could have travelled for miles on their humour and warmth. But I also saw tired, exhausted faces. Teaching haemorrhages energy.
Their principal spoke about how crucial it was for each of them to look after their own mental and physical health. “We have trouble in this country,” she said, “with the whole idea of self-care.” With so many urgent demands made on us all of the time, going for a walk, working in the garden, watching TV or just taking time out to be quiet, can seem “selfish”.
She told us clearly that it was anything but. There was a beautiful permission in her words.
One man asked me to talk about how mindfulness could help.
Mindfulness is one of the ways we can mind ourselves. It is not the only way.
The trick for each of us is to find out what works for us, and to build this into our everyday routine.
With so much in our face that triggers fear, frustration and despair, our bodies contract with tension and pain. We may not realise that this is happening. Mindfulness is a way of being aware of how we are doing below the noise level. When we know how we are, we are in a much better position to know what to do.
When we are mindful, we don’t try to fix anything; we simply allow whatever is there, to be there. When we accept whatever we’re feeling, our feelings begin to untangle. We reconnect with our inner strength. We find our sea legs. We remember who we are and we trust that having survived this far, we have learned enough to see us through.
Navel-gazing
From the outside, mindfulness can look like a form of selfish navel-gazing. But mindfulness is just trying to get us beyond our noisy ego so that we can allow our real self to come alive.
In the latest Think Big research with young Irish people, one in three chose a teacher as the person outside of their family who inspired them the most. Next to parenting, teaching is the most important gift we give our children.
Tony Bates is founding director of Headstrong – The National Centre for Youth Mental Health
Severe weather can be scary enough for adults, but do you remember how terrifying it was when you were a kid? There are some easy ways to help your children cope with their fear of tornadoes. The Family Conservancy suggests the following:
Answer all your child’s questions. Answer their questions and listen to their worries. Be sensitive and truthful during your conversation. You should also keep them away from the television and radio during severe weather and during the recovery when the devastation can be seen.
Prepare an emergency plan. If your child is afraid of a tornado hitting your home, work on an emergency plan with the whole family, so he or she knows what to do in severe weather. You can also reassure your child that the authorities have their own plans in place to help keep you safe.
Offer help to others. You can also do something positive to help out other people who have been hit by disasters. That will help your child understand people will help you out if something ever happened in your area.
Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton (aka Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr.) is no stranger to having his hands full.
While managing multiple verticals of his self-titled blog, writing books, and making guest appearances worldwide, the formerly pink-haired Perez has added proud papa to his resume in Feb. Much like his opinions of the stars, the always outspoken single parent isn’t shy about expressing his love for his precious Perezito, Baby Mario.
More from YourTango: ‘The Office’ Romance: Jim Pam’s Best Love Quotes
YourTango: Has fatherhood softened you in any way? Changed your outlook on life?
Perez Hilton: It’s hardened me. Fatherhood has forced me to deal with life head-on—directly and immediately! I can’t go down to San Diego anymore and stay in a spa for a few days when I get stressed.
YourTango: How has fatherhood affected your dating life?
Perez Hilton: What dating life? While there isn’t much to speak of, I remain open and optimistic!
YourTango: Who are the ideal celebrity parents in your opinion?
Perez Hilton: Jennifer Garner and me, because we work at it and are so hands-on.
YourTango: You just put out a new album; why is music so important to you? How did you pick your favorite indie artists?
Perez Hilton: Music is like oxygen to me—essential! It was my first love. For this compilation, I wanted to do something different than the first. While Pop Up #1 was a party/gym mix, the focus of #2 is more singer/songwriters and taking listeners on a special journey.
More from YourTango: ‘Bachelorette’ Spoiler: Is Desiree Hartsock Engaged?
YourTango: If you wrote a love song about Taylor Swift’s life, what would you call it?
Perez Hilton: “Talented and Rich.” She’s got lots of both.
More juicy articles on YourTango:
